Last weekend we flew to New Jersey for my mother's funeral. My husband and I and our three grown children attended. About twenty other relatives attended, as well. Since my mother had been in a nursing home in Milwaukee, the area my sister lives in, her body had to be shipped to a funeral home in New Jersey, to be buried at a cemetery where she and my father had purchased plots years ago. At that time several members of the family planned that their graves would be near each other, with a large common headstone.
The reality of her death, the traveling to and from Newark airport, and to Paramus, New Jersey, and the event itself seemed to take over my life for these past couple of weeks. My head has been a foggy repository for all kinds of thoughts and emotions. In addition, I was worn out by all of this. I have to say that having the loving support of my husband and of our three grown children, at this time, was instrumental in my getting through it all as well as I did. At a difficult and sorrowful time in my life, there was the joy! The joy was in sharing the burden and the sadness, and in finding that at times throughout the weekend we shared moments of laughter, smiles, and gratitude for having each other. I am so grateful for that, and will remember it always.
Yesterday and today I attended the drawing and painting sessions, drawing the nude figure, and painting portraits of clothed models. It felt so good to lose myself in the art process. I felt that I was fully absorbed in the process of creative activity and image making. My eyes, head, and hand, were in tune with each other and I knew, without much thought, exactly how to proceed and develop my work, like a fine tuned machine. It was a wonderfully successful day for me, bringing back the desire to paint more, and assuring me that it is innate for me to be an artist, and with my years of training and practice, I observed that I am sometimes "right on the mark". Today and yesterday were two of those clearly satisfying days. It was a great follow up to this past week of bumbling around, and aimless days colored by lifes events. It's starting to come back for me, as I clear away the cobwebs of my sorrow.