I've been making inroads on the sketches for my large canvas. Tonight I immersed myself in topics on U-Tube that I thought would feed me imagery that would eventually gel in my mind as I develop sketches for specific parts of my subject. For me, it's often about filling my head with visions somehow related to what I envision in my painting. From all the imagery I feed into my mind there ultimately emerges a sythesized and personal vision of what I need in order to put together my thoughts on paper. I'm now feeling nearer to putting my finger on what I want to express in the painting. I keep moving a little closer, by degree, to a clearer vision, by absorbing some ideas and rejecting others, by revamping my earlier thoughts, and following some other new cues about how to procede. Tomorrow I'll juggle some of what is new and some of what was already in the drawings I've done to date. Perhaps a finalized design is not too far off.
I re-read a poem of my Father's written in his later years, talking to God about things he still had to do in life before God would take him, beseeching him to allow him to complete his personal urgent work on earth. I recall he used to have bad nightmares about being snatched up before he was ready to "go". His poetry still within him, being as yet unexpressed, was one of the things he implored God to allow him to finish. He died at almost 95 years. I imagine he is still writing poetry in heaven, his wings draped around him to ward off a chill from a sudden breeze, as he prints in upper case alphabet characters on his lined Legal pad ( I wonder if the paper is yellow in heaven, or of a more heavenly hue). Maybe now, devoid of problems that riddled those late years, financial, health-related, his role as care-giver to my mother, he is at peace to focus his efforts on creating, and Does he see things from a more "knowing" vantage point? And is he closer to where the Muse dwells?
These are thought I pose as I launch my most recent endeavor. Where is there a Thesaurus of images to guide me on this journey?